Life teaches.

Life is an odd instructor: at times gentle and sage ;and at others, cruel and witless.

Knowing that there are two sides to this coin is one of the few kernels of wisdom that having learned allows me to trudge through the bog that is (life).

Though as many of us have come to know, the bigger part of that catholic nun/teacher with a giant ruler rests firmly inside her ribcage underneath an ancient expanse of bosom and a drab robe; we call this part human relationships...or the suck for those of us who have battled through the front lines time and again.

I have never really been very good with the ladies in regards to relationships. I'm selfish, lazy,rude, and at many times very obnoxious; though none of this bothers me any apparently women have a hard time getting past all that and falling for me...the cool me that everyone loves and wants to give money too squarely because of how cool I am. I don't really know where I was going with that but I suppose you should all think about giving me money ...in my religion this increases your own cool factors and with enough cool you get to die peacefully and surrounded by friends... of whom namely is me. However, I digress so allow me to return to the appropriate course of topic.

Relationships are odd and awkward and hard to deal with. I notice this trend of single people, you know people like myself. I get into relationships with people whom in the long run have no desire to be with me (how does that happen?) needless to say I spend a majority of my time alone and normally I prefer it that way . Recently however I notice that it has become harder for me to separate from the women I get involved with...maybe it's because I'm getting larger and my appearance becomes more like a mythical bigfoot-esque creature with every passing year, or maybe it's just because I have become fixated on my own flaws and I feel that being left can only be because of one or all of my flaws that obviously are so bad that they lead to my isolation from the fairer sex. You know I just always felt that I was a decent human being but recently I find that I and I are just not good enough to be accepted on a level indicative of connection and humanity.

In my youth I felt like I was incapable of being liked and accepted, I felt ostracized from my peer group and yet I always felt I was somehow superior to them...It was an ego thing that allowed me to continue on with my squalid existence of video games, masturbation, and more masturbation.

Well when I became a man... nothing changed except the amount of masturbation and the amount of internal struggle. So much for childish things so much for the idea of soul mates, so much for love. Love by the way is a dirty idea that came from the mind of Hitler on a meth binge...it's documented.

to rephrase myself; I am no good with the ladies, and Hitler forced this disgusting love on us after a geek out session with Eva Braun (sp?)