so.

I dunno what goes on in my head sometimes. Anxiety attacks, depression, self sabotage.
I went to class today and left before it even started...I had to and I don't know why.
I mean I can guess, I'm sure it has a lot to do with me being so far behind, like every other year.
I have wasted my on an education I am certain I will not be able to utilize in anyway that can be financially beneficial to me.

I feel the wanderlust again but know it wont do me any good. I am discontent with nearly every aspect of my life. I hate knowing that I am fully capable and yet unable to succeed. Im not trying to imply that I live some extraordinarily difficult life, just that I have a exceedingly difficult time maintaining the minimum level of societal progress.

I am beginning to notice that I am less and less comfortable outside of my home, I fear what's out there I guess, I fear failure, I fear that I will somehow end up in a situation I cannot control. I hate being so out of control of what's going on.

Whoa.

So I just have to say that I'm kind of shocked to see about 11,700 more counts on my counter since my last post. Cool.

Don't let the smiles fool you.

So today I started reassembly of the engine on my honda magna. I left out the capitol letters because the task at hand is a pain in the ass...it took my buddy and I 3 hours to assemble a small assembly that allows the transmission to shift into neutral...and it's still not done. Seriously...fuck you Honda. I found myself thinking of how much better it would be to work on the old cb350 or even the moped...that isn't officially mine.

Also I recently decided that I am lactose-intolerant...that explains the smell.
And other than that I am peachy.