Being bored leads to...

Odd thoughts.

Past relationships. Dead pets. Bad sex.

Forgotten friends. Old Crushes. Good sex.


You know, as a sex addict I believe I have a unique view of things. Things being life and it's encompassed. Life being my life and the story hence. Hence being a word I don't get to use often enough.
We have all come to realize either by actually knowing me or by spending a second or two reading my blog that I am no saint. I have used and hurt others in the past. I have destroyed beauty. I have avoided what I am told is due responsibility. Sometimes I care so much that it makes me weep, other times I just don't care at all. But all the hindsight in the world wont change anything that has already happened, it will only allow me the chance to avoid it all in the future.

So why oh why do I continue to fall into the bad patterns of my relationships, and why is Joe Satriani such a good guitarist?

I'll be the first to admit that I am a horny, overly sexual, semi-sleazeball. I don't honestly know what women see in me. I'm a slob,lazy,have one of the poorest work ethics anyone has ever had. I tend to withdraw from people when I'm angry and or depressed, and yet women are somehow enthralled by me (not all women....like .000006% of 1 %) . I have had women tell me they love me after a week of dating and it disgusted me even when I myself have experienced love after the first night with a woman. Leading me into the fact that I can be a gigantic hypocrite.

I dunno, I generally feel that it's best that I stay out of relationships knowing that it will most likely be a fleeting memory by the same time a year passed or that I will fall hopelessly in love and cause a toxic mass of moments for someone unfortunate enough to make the mistake of getting involved with the [financial] loser I perceive myself to be.

I find it impossible to believe that any woman would choose to stay with me if they knew the path I see for myself . I don't know too many women willing to live in a log cabin on a mountain sleeping on a hide bed and walking on a dirt floor. Or following me through the wanderlust infecting me to the core.

Fuck, fuck sums up the clusterfuck of my current thoughts; sex,violence,women,high speed chases,death, the unexplored and unclaimed adventure...I'd give up everything for adventure.
Seriously, I'd give the testes up for a years worth. I don't remember where I heard/read this but it's said that the only thing left for men in this world is money and pussy. Adventure and pussy is what I need. Life,death, a week of passion....some delicious beer.

I'm tired and random. I guess I'm lonely and anxious to discover our planet Earth...without having to deal with the rest of my species unless I choose to.

Seriously though why the fuck does a man need a passport to walk the globe? What the fuck is freedom if you aren't free to leave through your chosen door? Fuck that moronic counter-productive bullshit, it's all a form of oppression. Fucking telling me where I can and can't go, like I have some kind of chain attached. Fuck.Fuck. Fucking assholes. I'm pissed and going to start drinking.