So.

once again , I find myself treading water in the ocean created by my own madness and action.
Yet this time it is different. Today I feel I know myself much better than I ever have.
This is good, because before I didn't know I was a lovable asshole...it was more of a feeling until recently.
However with all the life and ego affirmation I let things slip, school, child support, my bills. Basically I'm knee deep in a shit sammich and I'm a bite away from being digested...
However I have options. I have options that keep me here in the cities,and one I've been wanting for a long time, which happens to be the chance to get the fuck out of here and start life elsewhere.
Now I really, really,really fucking want to get the fuck out of dodge. It's been a long time coming and I really feel the call man. But I am a smart man, I am observant, and recently I watched a friend of mine choose a similar choice only his was less of a permanent kind of thing. I learned that what you want can break what you have. and what you have can break what you want. It's a catch 22, but my ancestors blood courses through my veins and they were all traveling adventurers, at least the ones I see in my head are and who am I to call myself crazy?
Basically I'm saying I'm out of here in a few months. I don't know if I'll be back. I'm really quite scared. So to the few people who read this and are friends...I need some guidance and I welcome yours.