Rough.

It's rough waking up sometimes. I find myself in the grip of anxiety. Asking myself ,"why bother?"

I am starting to believe that my lack of motivation may stem from said ,"Why bother?" attitude, however the anxiety that the attitude is part of is every bit as real as the toothpaste I just used to brush my teeth. An unshakable gloom over all of my thoughts. This along with my depression makes me lethargic and unwilling to go out into the world. I fight and struggle with this often, luckily not every day and I have come to the conclusion that no matter how bad things get, they can always get better, that's my weapon, slight knowledge and positive thinking...and sleeping off the negative thinking. I just need to learn how to put all the negative stuff into the back of my mind when it's at the peak of it's capabilities. But I have my whole life to figure it out and I'd be surprised if it takes less than that.