If I were to start walking, would I ever stop?

if I were to start walking woould I ever stop.
I turned my back on you but your blue eyes shine off of every source of light.
II started this journey in the hopes of making it to the top.
But when I think of you my momentum stops.

To be fair I never wanted to love you but I digress
to make a joke now would be apropriate, yet when you smile its if it's already been said.
Yet the fire burns in my heart and tells me to burn it all till the ashes blow away.
and yet there are your blue eyes staring back at me from the flames now long cold,

I know my tempos off and my voice is flat but you never wanted it any other way.
To you I was the world and to me you were the oceans whose bounty I took for granted
Now my heart beats hots with a the torch that has not path to light but back home,
My feet struggle to maintain the step step pattern that always drove me on.

Now I'm stuck in limbo, the fire has spread and now nothing left but ashes and dreams,
The wind carries back to me your voice in the rain, your spirit to drench the fire,
But alas I am still ost and have not your hand to guide me back but if I follow the ashes
back to the source I'd find you there tugging on my heart strings making music for me to follow home.

so.

I dunno what goes on in my head sometimes. Anxiety attacks, depression, self sabotage.
I went to class today and left before it even started...I had to and I don't know why.
I mean I can guess, I'm sure it has a lot to do with me being so far behind, like every other year.
I have wasted my on an education I am certain I will not be able to utilize in anyway that can be financially beneficial to me.

I feel the wanderlust again but know it wont do me any good. I am discontent with nearly every aspect of my life. I hate knowing that I am fully capable and yet unable to succeed. Im not trying to imply that I live some extraordinarily difficult life, just that I have a exceedingly difficult time maintaining the minimum level of societal progress.

I am beginning to notice that I am less and less comfortable outside of my home, I fear what's out there I guess, I fear failure, I fear that I will somehow end up in a situation I cannot control. I hate being so out of control of what's going on.

Whoa.

So I just have to say that I'm kind of shocked to see about 11,700 more counts on my counter since my last post. Cool.