So as it goes.

I tell my uncle I can do the suspension work on his van...I tell him it could take me a week. I attempt the job with basic tools...and it takes me 6 hours of work but a day and a half to do just one balljoint...about a third of the work. Why? Because this job is a royal bitch. And to make it worse every time I tell my uncle what I need when I discover I need it he gets flustered and angry.

I've never done suspension work on an Astrovan...therefor I can't tell anyone with any certainty what I would need besides a full mechanics set...that should have been mentioned but I didn't think I'd have a problem since the local Chevy dealership told me 18 and 21mm sockets should be all I need...well never going to them for service because they obviously employ morons...there hasn't been any 18 or 21 mm bolts yet :) fuck you. I did manage as I said to get one side 99% complete. But the grease gun just wont cut it or even work for that matter. But still to the disappointment of my uncle it isn't finished... apparently when I told him it could take me a week he wasn't paying attention.

All this is adding up.I like it out here in Washington, I just don't feel at home out here and all my friends are back home...more internal conflict...just what I needed.

Almost a month...

Last night was spent watching at one of the most energetic crowds I've ever seen,in a city I've never been to.

I was terrified, i felt out of place,and my anxiety acted up...but then I calmed down a bit, I remembered why I was there,and though I couldn't bring myself to interact with the crowd I still had an amazing time. I got some good laser photos and saw a lot of interesting people including some really beautiful women...lots of them had dreads...I fucking like women with dreads.

I'm still wrestling with thoughts of returning home...to the easy life...less confrontations, more relaxation, less responsibility...but where has that brought me in the past? Just to more of my basement, tough my basement is comfortable and my bed firm... For now I remain here, attempting more and more change...

3 weeks...

So I came out here in the hopes of finding something new,something exciting and different, and yet I find myself still without adventure. I'm not saying I don't like playing with lasers and seeing go-go dancers in outfits that would of had them arrested in the 19th century and probably hung in the 17th but I want to test my limits and so far the only thing testing my limits has been blackberry bushes and depression...and not having an actual job.

Besides all that though I am trucking forward. I am succeeding where I would not have been able to in my earlier adulthood and it feels good. I see more things that need work but slowly my fear of that change is fading. I am becoming stronger, wiser, better prepared...but for what? Is the universe sending adventure my way? I wanted to write something of comedic value...but I feel that my life most certainly follows a humorous path inadvertently. Every day life unfolds and irony follows, I find myself in an comedy of celestial proportions...though it's always subtle and takes a trained eye and ear to find the laughter in it.

Like quite possibly travelling half the country just to work in a McDonald's...yeah funny like that.

I...

Want to be successful in everything I do.

I want to make 500 thousand dollars a year.

I want to be a better father.

I want to be more active.

I want to drive fast cars competitively...a 600 hp Subaru wouldn't be too shabby.

I want to Find a Honda Lock Assembly tomorrow when I check the junk yard.

I want to make new friends and see the ones I already have...Hint Hint mother-fuckers!

I want my own Solar powered passenger jet.

I want to write some good humorous material.

I want to upper deck a golden toilet in a palace somewhere...hopefully the whole room would be gold... someone should draw this out for me,if only for memories I'll never have.

I want 12 wives...I dunno why 12 but it sounds pretty manly...but not as manly as my all volunteer female harem...someday...someday.

I want to write more.

I want to draw myself upper-decking a golden toilet in a golden room in a palace somewhere...

I want to find an appropriate substitute for my ellipses.

I want to get rid of my reliance of spell check.

I want to feel good 85% of the time.

I want many Intelligent,funny and beautiful women to read this and email me, making me laugh and blush.

I want Obama to stop letting rotten politics stop him from doing his job.

I want to exit Earth's Gravity before I am 45 years old.

I want to eat the 22 pound hamburger.

I want to create music you can feel.

2 weeks in.

I think I need some vitamin d and some vitamin k. Not really the suns been out quite a bit since I've been here...but some things I miss (now in list form:new and fucking improved);

1.A certain someone who calls me fuzzy bear.

2.My daughter, my friends and my cats whom I think of as little slightly retarded and more vindictive friends.

3.My car (being able to get places I actually want to go.)

4.My guitar.

5. The Monday Night Comedy Show http://www.mondaynightcomedyshow.com/

6.Mainstreet Bar and Grille...

7.My bed....this should be number one but I didn't want to look like a dick :)

some things I don't miss.

1.Living with my mom (no offense to you ma but you crazy).

2.not having anything productive to do.

3.not having home cooked meals 3 times a day.

4.not being able to see the mountains.

So as it stands there is something bothering me... Those who know me well know I'm not spiritual or religious,but what many don't know

is that I've been having premonitions since I was a kid. Not often mind you and so far it hasn't been about anything important, more like

being chosen to get the green craft kit for the weekend when I was in kindergarten and then getting it two days later.

Predicting the winner of a "Win Ben Stein's Money" episode while I was taking a nap, and then my trip here to Washington.

Which was about the darkest one I've had . Though Many aspects of my premonition are coming true they have been the positive aspects;

Meeting people, the mountains,the shows...now the darker aspects have yet to fall into play but I'm worried because there were many

aspects to this premonition,I actually saw it three times with different outcomes but they all ended with "Don't go to Washington"

And now experiencing it all and having such strong Deja' Vu my anxieties are acting up like a sunuvabitch.I think it's crazy to believe in it.

I think I'm crazy...like maybe I'm still in the throes of an acid trip and at the end of it all I'll wake up to electro-shock therapy or something equally shitty.

I'm not giving up hope though,things are going well, some things to have not come true yet include getting pulled over without a valid WDL (Washington drivers license)

, a brutal cold snap (could still happen it's winter) and My uncle going ballistic on me. So I dunno what's in store with complete certainty, but If I die from an ear infection

or hurt my back real bad I'll know I'm psychic...what a way to find out...oh also this premonition came to me over two years ago, fuck me dead right?

anyway I've been shooting footage of the shows I've helped with.Taking some Photos and I like it all so far.